*yamigirl21

Hey there Everyone, ^_^

It's been a while since I've updated my journal huh? I guess mainly because most of what I wrote previously still applied and in truth, much of it still does now too. But I thought, what the heck? Might as well talk about my recent ongoings while I was here visiting. ^_^

Gosh.... Where to start? Well, in terms of deviantart related things, I have done a better job of keeping up with messages, which I'm happy to say, but I still need to get caught up on commenting on other's deviations.... That's taking a bit longer than expected but as always, I WILL get to them! ^_^ I'm looking forward to it actually since so many of you have done such amazing work over the past few months! I mean wow!!!

Speaking of artwork in general, it's also been a little while since I've posted any new work myself, (with the exception of the string of older works that I posted recently) but never fear! I have confidence that I WILL have new work to post soon and I'm hoping that it'll be work that I am truly proud of!!! ^____^ Also, don't forget to visit my OTHER deviantart site:

[link]

I'm fairly certain that though I'll continue to post work on this account, given the differences in my work, I'll also be posting things on that account as well. So be on the look out for it!

So what can I tell ya? I'm also happy tyo say that I've retained much of the optimism that I had at the start of the new year. We're quickly approaching the half way point it seems, but I'm still hoping for a change in my life for 2008; a positive change! And not JUST by hoping, but by taking the bull by its horns and taking action!

I guess that's what this whole year has been about for me. Trying to move forward after YEARS of feeling like I was stuck or that there wasn't anything that left for me to do, or that it was too late for me to accomplish things etc etc. I don't know WHERE I got those thoughts in my head but lately I've felt like I've been winning the battle against negativity and hoplessness! I HAVE been taking steps to move onward in my life and in terms of my art and I'm hoping that things will continue down that path! In fact sometimes its difficult for me to pinpoint exactly WHAT I should do given the number of options that I see now! @_@ But hey! That's a heck of a lot better than how I used to think, right? ^___^

I mentioned in my previous journal that I've been studying art, trying to brush up on my basics and trying to refine my techniques. Thankfully I've kept up those efforts! Yay me! ^__^ I've purchased a mountain of various art books which has gotten me excited about art in general again! I've even thought about taking art classes again! Despite what I can ALREADY do, I'm anxious to expand on my techniques and see how far I can really go! There's always something new to learn right? And maybe I really can be a better artist than I ever thought possible! For so long I felt so limited on what I KNEW that I could and couldn't do. But then I started to ask myself, why accept those limitations? I could still be learning new things every day and with that, I can gain more and more confidence to pursue what I want. And even if I don't have a clear picture of EXACTLY what I want, just the process of trying to find the answer might reveal more and more possibilities for me. ^_^ That's how I've felt recently and let me say it's a good feeling to have!

I've also put myself on a sort of "routine" which has helped me focus and add a bit of discpline in life. Much of that is thanks to the support of who has listened to me *every* day about what I strive to accomplish! Thanks girl! I couldn't have gotten even this far without you! In short, this routine is simply voicing things that I hope to accomplish (and SUCCEED on accomplishing) even on a daily basis, and also making time for art EVERY day no matter what; if not by working on my paintings, then by sketching.

I'll be honest when I say that I've never been much of a sketcher though. That may sound strange for any artist to say but I guess I was too fixated on beautiful *finished* pieces to really find the value in sketching. At least my OWN sketching, since I was never really good at that to begin with, as opposed to others who did WONDERFUL sketches that I've seen myself. Heh.... it really is odd.... I sometimes feel as if I can run but can't walk, when it comes to my art. (I'll fix that though!!! Yeah!!!) So that has been one aspect that I've worked to improve on these past several months. Taking a sketch book where ever I go and capturing something. I know that may seem like a pretty obvious truth that many artist, discovered LONG ago, but for me? What can I say? It wasn't something that came naturally, but now... I think I'm finally starting to get it.... Better late than never right? ^_^;

Though of course I'm still painting too! I haven't given up on that despite the lack of work posted here. As I mentioned in my last journal, I'm currently working on a painting with the characters of Peter Parker and Mary Jane from Spiderman. I had a little love affair with the comic series of Spider-man for a number of months beginning last spring, but before I move on completely (given the dissolving of their marriage that I DON'T support at all!!!!) I wanted to do at least one painting.... I find that whenever I fall in love with something I have to express that in a one of my works, so despite my fading interest in it, I want to see this work through to the end.

I guess that brings me to my current interests huh? Well, I still read some comics. I've stopped my support of Spider-man given the number of changes in the story that I'm not fond of, but I still read "Buffy Season 8," as well as "Angel: After the Fall," both of which are continuations from the tv series that ended years ago. Additionally, I'm also reading Gargoyles, which is also a comic version of what could have been animated......

I recently enjoyed the Phoenix Wright/Apollo Justice series on Nintendo DS! They were incredible games! Man! And with such interesting stories and characters too! Wow! I also hope to do a piece of fan art for that! I loved them!!!

Manga-wise I'm reading "Red River," "Fruits Basket," "Moon Child," "Honey and Clover" and "Vampire Knight." In the last few months to just recently, I finished the "W Juliet" manga series, "On the Other Side of the Mirror," and "Absolute Boyfriend."

And as for anime, though I don't watch as much as I used to (partly due to time constraints these days as well as other reasons....) I'm currently watching the anime version of "Vampire Knight," which I've enjoyed thus far, though, I must say, I think the REAL gem has been the "Honey and Clover" anime, which I just finished this very evening actually..... Wow..... Now THAT was truly a work of art, no pun in tended (given its art related theme).... To anyone reading this, especially those who love art, and the art making process, or simply those who, like me, are looking for answers in life, I *HIGHLY* recomend it! It was..... just.... so.... wonderful.... beautiful in so many ways. It touched on so many of my own feelings; my own concerns, my own fears, even my hopes for the future. As cliche as it might sound, I truly did laugh and cry.... It touched my heart..... In all honesty it was one of the best anime series I've ever seen......

Let's see.... what else.... Well, aside from the above, I've also continued studying my Japanese which in truth is also occupying a bit of my time. I study privately with an instructor on a bi-weekly basis, but even when I don't have class, I study alone with my text books and audio CDs etc. I think it's going well so far but I've still got a long way to go.... I'm up for that challenge too though!

I still think about my unfinished fanfiction, "Transcending Memories: A Bond Unsealed."

[link]

[link]

There are days that I truly feel that I could pick right up on it as if no time had passed at all. I still feel THAT strongly about it and I know I always will. But there simply isn't time for my to focus on this, at least not right now. Not when when I FINALLY have all this motivation to move forward. I like to think that when I am better established with my life, maybe then I can finally return to it.... I'll welcome the chance to as it would make me feel as if I truly accomplished something if I was able to finish it someday..... even if it was just on a personal level.

Well everyone! I guess that's about it for now! Given the time spans between my journals I hope that the next time I'll post one I'll have something really great to share! In the meantime though I'll keep pressing on and I hope that you'll all wish me luck! Thank you all for your support, and your interest in me and my work! It truly does mean the world to me..... Take care now! Everyone! Until next time then!

Love,
yamigirl21

Proud member of and

Hello everyone!

It's been a long time! Wow, judging by the date of my last journal a REALLY long time! Not that I haven't popped in here on occassion to try to catch up with messages, (which I STILL need to get caught up on! >< And I will too!!! So hang in there you guys! ) and to submit a piece or so, even though in terms of the art at least, it has been a while! Ack! Sorry everyone! I didn't plan to be away for so long! It's been pretty hectic though. And I'm hoping that it's due to good reasons which I'll explain soon..... ^^ But first I wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year!! I hope everyone had a great time celebrating the start of 2008 and I personally hope that it'll be a fun, productive and eventuful year not only for me, but for everyone! Let's hope for a great one everybody! Woo hoo!!

So where to start? I haven't been doing a lot of art lately unfortunatly, but instead, I've been studying a lot more about art and my art making process in general! Why you ask? Well, as more time passed, I started to reallly concern myself with thoughts that I may never be able to make it in the art world.... that I've wasted so much time already since I finished school, etc etc etc! I'm sure those who've kept up with my journals have heard this sort of thing before, right? @_@

After a while, those thoughts started to get a bit paralyzing; so much so that it was difficult to create ANY art work at all! But 2007, for me anyway, was about emotional and mental growth, and to try to have a more positive outlook in ALL aspects in life. So in short, I came to the conclusion that there was nothing that I could do about the past! Yes, I still wish that I'd done this, or tried that, but I started to think about what I can do NOW, to really get myself off the ground at long last!!! I wanted a fresh start, a real plan, a strategy to finally do something with my art work!! And that's when I came up with this "self study" program that I've been trying to stick with!

I've thought about some of these things in the past..... For instance I took a class on "Business" a few years ago as I felt that it was something that I needed to know in order to promote my work. But I found that unaffective, as it wasn't specialized to art in itself. It was great to get a little bit of a taste of the business world, but much of what I learned didn't seem to be relevant to what I wanted to pursue. I thought about more classes or even going back to school again for my Master's Degree. But then I thought "Wait, if I want to learn about very specific things, why not JUST focus on what I want to learn?"

And with a trip to Borders I found what I was looking for. Dozens and dozens of books that focused on SO many aspects that I wanted to learn and improve on! Books about marketing art work, books that could help me improve on my weaknesses with my actual work in itself, and so much more! This is a pretty recent idea of mine so I haven't gotten further than a few books being read, but the way I see it, not ONLY can I learn something this way, but I can also keep my mind going, keep myself excited and passionate about art and creating art by reading about it! I can find bold new concepts, ideas, techniques even! And also some vital points of view from real proffessionals!

For so long I felt that I was "stuck;" I was in a rut, I guess you could say. I felt that I wasn't moving forward and I didn't even know HOW to begin to move forward. It was pretty depressing.... let me tell you.... So I figure that maybe THIS is what I have to do to keep myself moving! If I'm not doing art work, at least I'm learning something about art! And I can take these books anywhere! To work even! I can read on my breaks or lunch periods, on the bus home! That's the plan anyways, now it's all about executing it!

In terms of what I've done with my actual art, I've done a little sketching here and there, mainly in terms of trying to practice what I've always felt was lacking with my art. That too has been something that I've been trying to work on. For so long it seemed that I simply accepted what I wasn't able to do with my work. That I'd never be very good with terms of lighting in my paintings for instance, or figure drawing without the use of reference, or perspective issues that I constantly struggled with. That too can be something that I can improve upon if I'm determined enough!! I found that I can get books JUST on these subjects as well and anything else I want to specialize on! It's an exciting thought ad I'm hoping that this will make me an even better artist than I was!

Subject matter has also been a question in my mind lately though. I still ADORE anime and manga, but I have come to realize that I can't simply focus on fan art and such if I really am serious about a career in the arts. It saddens me that I'll have to cut back on such works, but I also need to learn to have a little discipline and if I'm honest, I think that I've been "hiding" behind my love for anime and manga, and my desire to do these types of works, because I was intimidated, maybe even afraid to do anything else.

I am currently working on a piece of Spider-man fan art though, which I hope to begin painting soon. It may be the first and last piece however..... Due to some unfortunate changes in the comics that will occur (namely the change of writers, which interested me in the first place, and the decision to *END* Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson's MARRIAGE!!!!! ) I will most likely stop reading the comics, at least until something in the story peaks my interest again. Those two decisions alone though are enough to make me want to back off though!!!! But anyways, since I did love my little comic kick this summer, I thought that if nothing else, I could at least do a piece with Peter and Mary Jane. A sort of tribute, I guess you could say. It does sadden me that their relationship will soon be nothing more than a memory.... so I figured that it was the last that I could do. So be on the look out for that everyone!

I'll continue my interest in OTHER comics though. I still plan to continue to read "Gargoyles" (a continuation of the Tv series which aired in the mid-90s) as well as the "Buffy Season 8" title (as the title suggests, the next "season" after the tv series of this too). And finally "Angel: After the Fall." Yet another continuation from the Buffy Spin-off "Angel" which ended a few years back. I may even continue to read "Spider-Girl," the alternate reality in which Peter and Mary Jane's daughter May Parker lived; as it may be the ONLY Marvel universe that they find happiness....

And I won't give up on manga especially! It's been difficult finding time to sit down and watch new titles. But I'm always up to trying new manga at least. What am I reading now.... Hmm.... "Red River" of course, "Fruits Basket," "Vampire Knight," a couple older titles like "W Juliet" and "Moon Child," "Please Save My Earth...." And I still occassionally read some of the older sets I have. When I wait long enough it feels as if they're almost like new; that fresh feeling when reading it the first time around, you know?! ^_^ Ahhhhhh!

Getting back to my art, I also found some old sketches from my days in which I worked on fan art for my "Transcending Memories: A Bond Unsealed." Fanfiction,

[link]

[link]

which I'll most likely add to my "Scraps" folder on Deviantart soon. Some of them were rather nice and since I don't know when I'll be able to work on either art work or the actual story again, I thought it might be nice to share some rough images at least.

Let's see.... what else.... Well I'm still trying to study Japanese. I'm taking private lessons on a bi-weekly basis with the instructor that I had in my previous classes. He's a good teacher. But I worry about not being able to practice as much as I'd like. I study pretty frequently, surely, but knowing about sentence structure and grammatical concepts is one thing, putting it into practice is something else..... Still, for some reason I want to press on. Maybe being tri-lingual (my technical first language is Spanish) will be an asset someday. I like to think it at least....

I guess that's about it for now. I just want this year to be the start of something really great for me. I hope! I will create more art work soon but most likely they'll probably be posted on my OTHER deviantart account:

[link]

I want to begin exploring the idea of illustration again so most likely the works I'll create will fall into the type posted on this site rather than the fan art and such posted here. I may still do the occassional fan art piece (I'm NOT giving up on my love for anime and manga! No way!!!) But I really do want to get myself on the ball so I need to rethink my priorities.

Anyways everyone, that just about does it! It was great getting back on here and writing about my recent plans and ideas! I really have missed everyone here and I really am trying to hope for the best now! Wish me luck everybody! Take care and once again Happy New Year! Let's make 2008 the best year it can be!

Love,
yamigirl21

Proud member of and

Hello there everyone, ^_^

How are you? Are you doing well? Gosh, I sure hope that you are!! Wow, it's been a long time, hasn't it? Far too long! @_@ Looking back, it seems that this is really the first time I've updated my journal this entire year so far! Though, at the same time, the last one was written at the very very end up 2006 at least.... But anyways, I hope you've all been taking care! I've missed you guys! ^_^ Sorry I haven't been around much lately. In my defense though, things were rather hectic in life; so much so that I've barely had time to even paint any new pieces these past few months! I'm hoping to remedy that though! I'm currently working on a fun crossover piece with all my favorite anime men, as seen by the sketches in my scraps gallery. Check them out if you haven't already!!

And aside from that, Otakon is also coming up, [link] so I hope to do at least a few new pieces for that too. Speaking of which, if anyone is going, be sure to look me up ok? If all goes well with the table reservation, which seems to be the case at this time, I'll be in artist alley, as always! ^___^ I must say though..... I'm feeling a bit rusty right now.... It really does feel like it's been forever since I've done a decent piece. But I want to get back on the horse, so to speak, and let my creative juices flow! Wish me luck with that, ok everyone? Thanks!

So what can I tell you about life? Well, for a long while there I was working a lot of extra hours; not just my normal 8am-4:30pm hours on the job, but also a lot of overtime at night and weekends too. That was also coupled with my Japanese classes (on monday and wednesday nights) which ended a week or two ago (though I'll be taking private lessons again in the fall.....). That's more or less how it has been for me in the past too, but I don't know.... It just seemed to take more of a toll on me than it had previously. I guess I'm still a bit frustrated with life in general, and I'm starting to tire of this mundane routine. I need a change in my life. Something big! And though I have been thinking a lot about what it is that I'm searching for, I don't feel very close to finding the answers right now, unfortunatly.

A lot of personal things have happened in my life too I suppose. Mainly some changes in relationships with my family, which I guess is a good thing in some way. I won't get into it, but I feel that due to some events that have occured earlier this year, I now have a little more clarity on things that I can't change, and also what I need to focus on for myself and my own life. It's not much, but it is something, I think..... I guess I feel that I've grown up a little in these past few months. Better late than never right? Again, it's a step forward, surely, but it still doesn't solve my problems. I mean, I still don't know where to go, or what to do with myself yet..... I just wish I knew where to find the answers.... <Sigh>.....

Um, what else can I tell you.... I guess I've been getting out a bit more lately too. Thanks to a few new friends, I feel like I've been a little more open to the idea of meeting new people. I sometimes wonder if that's one of the things that I need right now; someone new and influential in my life.... I've been thinking a lot about that too these days.....

As far as my art goes, though I do plan on doing some new fan art for Otakon and what not, I also wanted to think more seriously about what to do with my work in general. I love doing fan art, and attending conventions, I really do! But I know I'm not going to get anywhere, professionally if I only do these things. So the question is, what should I strive for? Where does my art fit in the industry? If I need to revamp my work, what should I focus on? Again, right now, I have more questions than I do answers. For years now I've thought about Illustration, maybe Fantasy art, as seen by my other deviantart site:

[link]

But in truth, I just don't have as much passion for this kind of work, though I DO feel more of a sense of accomplishment; I find it more challenging when I paint these works. I wish that I could find some middle ground with this and my anime art work, as both have their own appeal. Maybe I should try to be more experimental with my art. Maybe I need to do a little soul searching in terms of what kind of artist I REALLY am. Maybe THEN I'll know where to apply it. I always thought that if I just knew where my work belonged, then nothing would stop me from pursing my goals. But it's the NOT knowing that's killing me. I just don't know.... But I hope very much that I can figure it out soon..... I just feel that I'm letting time pass me by these days and I worry that at this rate I won't accomplish anything. I guess that's all I can say at this point. But again, I would appreciate and good wishes that are sent my way though....

On a lighter note, I guess I could update you on my more recent interests....though in truth I do have some mixed feelings about it... Oh well... Just coming out and saying it, I've officially re-entered my comic book phase from years ago! There! The truth is out! But yeah, I've found myself reading quite a few titles lately.

Firstly, there's the Buffy comics, which take place after season 7 of the tv series. It's literally titled "Season 8" as it's also written in part by Joss Whedon himself, the creator of Buffy. As of now, they've been interesting.....but I'm still waiting for the plot to thicken I suppose.....

Secondly, I've also been reading the new Gargoyles comics. For those that may not be familar with it, Gargoyles was a surprisingly serious animated series brought out by Disney in the 90s. Kinda a long story there, but in short, now, 10 years later, the original writers are back, trying to expand on and finish the story which seemed far from over even then! It's been fun getting back to that too, but like Buffy, I'm still waiting for some more story to be revealed!

But in truth, I think my most prominent interest at this moment probably has to do with my sudden interest in Spider-man. Yes, yes, I know it may sound silly to some. In truth, if you would have told me even a few months ago that I would have gotten into that, I probably wouldn't have believed you! I remember back in the mid-90s I liked comics: Batman, Spider-man, X-men etc. But I don't know.... other than a casual like of it all, and a more serious interest in say the Batman Animated series and all its various incarnations, I don't think I was a REAL comic book fan. At least I don't think I was..... And when I finally discovered anime in 1995 with Sailor Moon and all.... oh man.... it was ALL down hill from there! I truly felt as if I had found my true love and everything before hand was forgotten!

And yet, I'm starting to see some more mature writing in comics of late, some which I've found surprisingly engaging..... I guess this all started with my anticipation for the Spiderman 3 movie. (which is an entirely different story there! >< ) In a nutshell, though it kept me entertained, I was for the most part a bit disappointed with its portrayal, especially with a few plot elements that I was familar with that I didn't feel were depicted accurately. (Also don't even get me started on my thoughts of casting Toby Maguiere which I never felt was right for the part from the beginning! >< )

ANYways, after that I started flipping through a few titles at Borders and reading up on some of the current plots in the marvel universe (particularly this Civil War event for instancce) on Wikipedia and such.... Well.... I guess you can say the rest is history.

To put a little logic in this madness, I think part of all this also had to do with my interest in the anime/manga title Guyver, and some its similarities to Spider-man in particular, but for better or worse, I guess that really is what I'm into right now. Go figure.

But on a more professional level, it's also been pretty interesting being exposed to some new forms of art work, if nothing else. I've been so involved with anime and manga for so long now that it's been a nice change of pace to see other artists interpretations of characters that have been around before I was even born! And one thing that I have to give them credit for, is that some truly exceptional comic book artists can certainly make you feel something with some of their amazing images!! Some of the art was even able to move me, and that also makes me think about what I want to accomplish with my own work. Is that something I'm able to do too???

Again that's still not a lot of direction, but you never know where you can the answers to life's questions, right? Anyways, I guess that's all I can say about that for now. I'll ride the wave for as long as I can, and hopefully I'll get something out of it. I always like to think that there's a reason that I fall so deeply in love with my interests, that they're supposed to lead me somewhere; that everything that I've been exposed to will somehow shape my "ultimate destiny" or what not. I don't know if that's true or not, but it's a comforting thought at least....

So that about sums it up everyone! My main focuses right now are to figure things out in my life, make a few changes for the better this year, and to try out some new things with my art work. If I do the latter, please keep your eyes peeled on my other DA site as depending on what I DO come up with, I may decide to post my new works there.

And no, sadly I haven't been able to write any more of my poor neglected fanfiction, 'Transcending Memories: A Bond Unsealed':

[link]

[link]

I still have hope that I'll return to it someday, but in truth, it doesn't look like it'll be anytime soon....

Anyhow, I guess I'll be off for now! Take good care everyone and I hope to see you around D.A. again in the near future! ^__^

Love,
yamigirl21

Proud member of and

Hello there everyone,

How are you? Are you doing well? I sure hope that you are! All righty then! It's been a long time since I've updated my journal here at D.A, huh? Well part of the reason for that is that I wanted to catch up on messages first which I've FINALLY managed to do! At long last! It may take me a while but I really do get to them! I'll try to do better in the future but please know I really do appreciate everyone's patience and continued interest in my work.... It means more than I can say, really. I know I say that quite often but it's true.... You're all so wonderful. Thank you..... Actually, looking at my counter I see that I'm nearly at 30,000 hits! I'll see if I can do a piece sometime soon to thank everyone for the watches and the comments and so forth! ^_^ So be on the look out, ok?

As for how I'm doing, well....the last few days have been pretty rough I guess...but I'm looking foward to the new year. As a whole not much can be said about 2006 so I'm hoping for the best for 2007. Speaking of which, I wish all of you a Happy New Year as well and may it be a fresh and positive start for all of us!

What else can I tell you? Hmm, well for starters, I've been accepted as an official artist for the upcoming Katsucon anime convention in Washington D.C:

[link]

I'm looking forward to it and I hope to create some new works that'll be available in print form in the coming months. I'm hoping to aim towards some series that maybe I haven't done in the past; perhaps I'll be more succesfful that way too as the last few haven't gone as well as I hoped, though I did have a lot of fun, while meeting lots of great people in the process! I'm also hoping to attend Otakon again this year with my friend though of course there's still several more months until then:

[link]

I may not be able to work as much on these works as I would like though. Starting in the middle of January I'm taking my second semester of Japanese which is a contination of my fall course. I did well enough I suppose in the first semester but I suppose I put a bit too much pressure on myself.... I think that I thought it would be much easier to pick up the language given that I've been watching anime in Japanese for almost 12 years. It's always been a dream of mine to be able to speak Japanese very well and again, though I DID do well in the course, I think I expected more from myself. Well, I'll try to be more realistic with expectations this time around and hopefully I'll learn even more! So far I can read both hiragana and most of the katakana characters so that's something. And aside from the various words and phrases I already know, I know a little more about sentence structure and seletc adjectives, descriptions and question words. I just have to keep going and see where it leads me....

Another possible project that may keep me occupied (aside from my 6 days a week work schedule, plus overtime....-_-; ) is that I may have been selected to do a children's book with an acquiantance of an old friend..... We're still in the early planning stages and in talks in regards to terms and what not, but I'll keep anyone posted if one is interested in knowing about this. Though I'll most likely talk more about this project at my OTHER deviantart account located here:

[link]

I'm still not sure what style the writer is looking for. So far it seems she may want more of a "cartoony" or even a slightly anime-esque style but then again in the end if may look more realistic as does the work at the above site that I've done in the past. I suppose I'll post the work depending on which site I think it would be best suited for but it seems more likely that I'll post them at my ksoto account. Again though I guess I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it, if it all works out.... Please wish me luck though everyone! Thanks!

As I mentioned in my last journal, I'm still thinking about going back to school for a Master's Degree in Illustration, but I'm not sure how realistic that is at least in the near future. I've attempted to save money for moving and what not but somehow it hasn't worked as well as I'd hoped. I'll continue to work hard though and hopefully improve on this plan in the coming new year. However I'm still a bit unclear as to WHERE I would go to do this. I seriously considered California; San Francisco to be exact and though I DID like the school (I went for a tour during a visit in late November) I was a little undecided about how I felt about the city as a whole and of course the vast distance from the East Coast. So I thought that during the process of saving money, perhaps it might be wise to explore other options too. Perhaps New York City even. I'm still not sure about that either but it's worth looking into. That's about all I can say about it at this point however.

I suppose I'm feeling a bit frustrated about life in general. For years now I've felt that I've just been stuck in some unchanging limbo. It's safe and "comfortable" I guess; (a decent enough job with decent enough money and at least some time to do my own art work and such) but I know that I don't want my life to remain this way forever. Sometimes I wish very much that something would just happen in my life; something GOOD I mean, that would just help me begin to make some steps forward at long last. It doesn't even have to be something very large either; just a small event, a sign or even a new person in my life that might have some answer that I've been looking for. Perhaps that sounds silly as there's the age old debate about waiting for things to happen and MAKING them happen, but it would be nice to have a little bit of direction when you are so unsure of what to do and where to go.... That's what I hope and pray that I find in the new year if at all possible....

On a lighter note, I suppose I should talk about my new anime interest which has captivated me rather thoroughly..... I'm still a bit embarrassed about it but given that my latest deviation related to it I guess I should just come out and say it. Yes, for whatever reason, I've fallen in love with the new 2005 anime series of Guyver. Who would have thought? I mentioned some of this in the description of the deviation too, but I have a rather interesting history with this title, one that dates back to before I even knew what anime was! @_@ In a nutshell, I watched a live action movie for it WAY back in the early 90s. Let me say that it was a pretty horrifying experience...... It was a BAD movie which I'm guessing was made in part due to the big Ninja Turtle craze or what not which occured at the time (judging by the ridiculous monsters and the sad attempts to depict "thrilling" fight scenes and such....). And even though the film was mind numbing and increasingly painful to absorb with each passing SECOND, I found myself INEXPLICABLY fascinated in at least one concept that it addressed, specifically in regards to the main character and his accidental fusion with a dangerous alien parasyte which resulted in the creation of an organic suit of armor that he's now both physically and mentally linked to. Thinking back on it, it actually kinda reminds me of the whole Carnage/Venom concept in "Spiderman" I guess. Hmm..... I don't know.... I did have a brief comic book phase around that time, so who knows?

ANYhow..... I learned a few years later that that AWFUL film was based on an anime/manga and though I knew of the older version of the anime, I think I was too chicken or maybe even too embarrassed to actually try the title back then so eventually I just forgot about it.... Well... until a month and a half ago when I somehow stumbled upon it's 2005 remake..... Once again, I was oddly drawn to trying it, just to satisfy that old curiousity that I had that I never fully indulged in I suppose. I watched an episode.... shrugged it off.... watched another, though it was ok I guess.... but then.... I found that I couldn't stop watching it. And well, I guess it was around episode 6 or so I guess....oh yeah.... I was hooked.... This odd and "seemingly" corny show which has actually been around in manga form for nearly 25 years and had haunted me for almost 15 years had finally managed to capture my full and undivded attention.

Gosh.... what can I even say about it..... I still find it a little confusing as to WHY I actually like it so much. Especially given the history that I explained above. I suppose the biggest appeal is my interest in the main character Sho Fukamachi. So.... it seems that this time I've fallen for the cute, slightly awkward, and sweet anime guy who at the same time can be an "angsty" superhero type like Batman or what not.... What can I say.... I dig angsty "superhero" guys..... And BOY does this guy go through hell..... You'd NEVER think it by looking at it, but one of the the most interesting aspects about it really entails the characters constant inner struggles to deal with his life being turned upside down; that and his overwhelming desire to protect those he loves, even at the most extreme costs.... And UNlike say Batman or other loner type heroes, one thing that I really admired about the main character of Guyver was despite all that happens, all the loss, tragedy and pain that he DOES indeed go through, the horrible ordeal doesn't harden him, in fact it makes him stronger, more determined to protect those he cares for; and he does.... Man..... Deep stuff.... On the other hand don't even GET me started on the frustration I felt in regards to the love story in this series. I think I said plenty about that in my last deviation too..... (Grr..... )

It still seems a bit odd given the initial set up, the "monster of the day" formula in the first 5 episodes or so; but you eventually come to see a much darker and intricate story that of course wouldn't have lasted more than two decades if there hadn't been more to it than just "fighting" and "saving the day." After seeing the entire new 26 episode anime, and even sampling previous versions of this work (much to my deep regret....) I must say I'm now interested in knowing even more about it I want to collect the manga and I'd like to even try my hand at some more fan art if I can. I'm not exactly sure what I'll do but I know it'll more than likely involve the main character somehow. ^_^;

So there you have it folks. I NEVER saw this one coming and yet I find that my great anime loves usually find me. Go figure. I'll try to savor this one as long as I can and hey, it's STILL going in manga form even though I hope someday they animate the rest of it... I guess I can't say too much though as fans who've been into it for all those years were probably waiting for quite a while for this new version after all! So I'll try to be patient too and see what unfolds..... Anyhow, if you can deal with weird monsters, and creepy alien suits, I think you might be surprised at some of the intense drama to be found in this series.... Some of my friends seem to have taken a liking to this show most notably my best friend Official releases are being released now by ADV but you can also try here if you want to sample it:

[link]
(you have to go to this guy's last page on the bottom though.....)


Anyways, I'm still a little embarrassed going on about it so I think I'll leave it at that.

And no, despite this interest I still haven't given up on my love for Yu-gi-oh and though it may be a long while still, I DO hope to someday work on my Yugioh fanfiction: "Transcending Memories: A Bond Unsealed." Someday anyway..... <Sigh>....

[link]

[link]


So yeah, I guess that sums up how things are on my end everyone. Given that this is already a pretty lengthy journal I'll call it a night now. ^^ Take care everyone and Best wishes for a wonderful 2007!

Love,
yamigirl21

Proud member of and

Hey there everyone ^_^

How are you? Are you doing well? I sure hope that you are! It's been a while since I've updated my journal it seems. But then again, it's been a pretty hectic few months! >< Wow, where to begin?

Well for starters, I wanted to say that I've FINALLY caught up with messages again! About time eh? Sorry to keep all of you waiting for so long. I really do try to get to each and every message when I can. I still have a few more to reply to, but overall my inbox is empty again! Seriously though, thanks again for your patience and support you guys!! ^__^ It means a lot to me!

In terms of what has been happening in my life since my last journal.... Um, I guess there really isn't too much to say about the past summer. My main goal was preparing for Otakon and though I enjoyed the convention as a whole (I met a lot of wonderful people especially! ) , I wasn't too successful in regards to my art once again. It's been a bit discouraging to be honest.... I'm starting to feel like I can't keep up with the younger generation of fans, not to mention the number of new anime and manga that appear every day now that I know nothing about. -_-; All of this combined has made me reconsider my position in life as a whole I suppose.

In truth everyone, I went to school to study Illustration, but at the same time, I've always felt rather divided since I have sucha strong passion and deep love for anime and manga. I suppose I wanted to be a part of it somehow, and I thought that maybe if I was a success at conventions that I was attending, that I would be in some way. And yet since I haven't been as a whole, I think I may have to reconsider my career in Illustration. Don't get me wrong everyone! It's not really about choosing one art form over the other. I love painting things such as the work in my other deviantart account as well:

[link]

Work such as these are challenging; they give me a sense of accomplishment that even my anime works can't give me. I suppose my real dilema was finding a middle ground between them, if such a thing is even possible.

Much of that also includes my own self-doubts. I've always wondered if I was REALLY capable of making it in the Illustration industry; if I was not only good enough, but if I was ambitious enough too. I think the bottom line is that I don't think that I am.... at least not the way that I am now. So I've come to the conclusion that I may need to continue my education in the arts, perhaps pursue a Master's Degree if I hope to make my mark on the industry at all. And one place that I have considered relocating to, to accomplish this goal, is San Francisco California. Though I currently reside on the East Coast, I have family on the west coast, (in that same city) and I know that they have one art schoo in particular that I have heard many great things about..... In recent years, the school has even sent representatives for events such as "Open Houses" in this part of the country and from what I've gathered attending these events, it might be the place for me after all.

There's still a lot to consider before I do this though. It would certainly be a pricey move, (one that I wouldn't be able to afford as of yet) and there's still much to figure out in terms of where I would live, how to handle the costs of more education, if I'm emotionally ready to leave behind all that I know etc. But it's something that I think I might want to give some serious thought to. I feel that there's nothing left for me in the area in which I reside now. Nothing and no one. Maybe it's time that I make a drastic change in my life, a big gamble, as some would say. I only hope that it's one that'll pay off in the end. All I know is that I've been struggling for the past 3 years now; not sure where to go or what to do with myself. Maybe this is the answer to that? I don't know but the more time passes the more it seems that that might be true.....

Anyhow, perhaps I'm jumping the gun a bit. All I can do now is work as much as possible (including an insane amount of overtime) to save up, and research some of these uncertain elements before I make any moves. I really do want to be prepared and take the least amount of risks as possible of course given that such a step is a huge risk in itself. That's really all that I can do for the moment, but if anyone is interested in knowing, I'll be sure to keep you posted on any decisions or progress that I make. ^_^

Other than the massive overload of work, I've also been taking a Japanese class as of late. It's two times a week from 6-7:30pm on Monday and Wednesday. Thankfully my teacher is authentically Japanese, and boy is he working us hard too! Its only been 2 weeks now and he's already insisted that we learn all of the hiragana alphabet! It's been a bit demanding but I think that I've learned a bit already! With any luck I'll be on my way to really learning the language by the end of the semester. That's my hope anyway. Maybe that's a bit too ambitious but it is something that I've always wanted so I'll do my best to achieve it!

Still, the class and the overtime has taken a big chunk from any possible free time that I have. I'm hoping that I can get used to this chaotic schedule since it's been pretty draining so far. >< Wish me luck everyone!

Despite this, I'm still going to be posting new pieces whenever possible. I have a few new YGO images in the works right now actually, and I also have some related to other anime and manga coming up soon too! So be on the look out for them!

I also hope that I can add some new work to my other site:

[link]

Since I may also have to focus on works such as those too to brush up on my old skills.

When I can though, I STILL want to work on some writing as I miss my old fanfiction: "Transcending Memories: A Bond Unsealed," SO very much. If I can find SOME free time, I would like to continue that again.

[link]

[link]

I know I've said this on numerous occassions, but I don't know, I suppose I'd regret it if I didn't finish it someday..... I really want to do so..... Wish me luck with this too, please!

I suppose that's really all that's happening with me overall.....

Oh! Recently I attended my best friend 's wedding in Buffalo, New York! ^_^ What an event that was! It really was quite an enjoyable trip! I was named the Maid of Honor and the wedding and reception were just beautiful! It was a lot of fun too! I ate, danced, and even caught the bouquet! Hopefully it'll bring me a little luck in the romance department someday soon. -_-;

Before I forget, I also wanted to share one more thing with all of you!! I don't know how many of you visit [link], but for you Yugioh fans out there, I simply MUST recommend a new parody series that I've been told about called "Yugioh: The Abridged Series."

[link]

It's created by someone named "Little Kuriboh," and what he's done is to take the episodes, and make them into 5 minute parodies of themselves! They're really quite ingenious, not to mention hilarious as well!! He's gotten quite a lot of attention already but if you haven't seen them yet yourselves, you simply must! I certainly got a kick out of them myself! In addition to the episodes (which are released relatively on a weekly basis) he has also made other types of parodies involving the characters. They are all very professionally done, and he himself provides the voices of ALL the characters!!! Ah! I simply can't praise them enough! Please do check them out, Yugioh fans! They're so much fun!

Anyways everyone, I suppose I'll leave it at that. If something new does happen to occur, I'll try to update my journal a little sooner in the future. Take good care now everyone! Until next time!

Love,
yamigirl21

Proud member of and